These walls have been erected by no one else but me . these walls are built of bricks of my mannerisms , my queerness , my individuality , my Duality , my multiplicity , my habits good or bad , they are my own , my Language , my roots , my culture , my dreams , aspirations , ambitions , inhibitions , insecurities are the bricks that make me . my rock solid foundation is made of my Character and my set of morals built painstakingly over years , change is indeed the only constant in life .
I am who I am today because of my past , my past involves my friends , family who stood by me through thick and thin , and also because I did what I did then . In hindsight I know what went right and what went wrong . I am a strict believer of the fact that there is no such thing as right or wrong . What may seem right today may turn horribly wrong tomorrow . The decision that sounds off key and wrong may be the best decision ever in your life .
I am full of contradictions , this everyone I know say , indicates a restless mind . This ever raging battle between the right and the wrong , the black and the white , the truth and the lie , the mind and the heart , the open mind and the prejudiced mind , the shy and the bold , the angry and the kind . All of this makes me the person I am , today . The person in front of you .
I am a dreamer .Descartes once told , ”I think therefore I am ”.I dream therefore , for that moment , I am , what I can only hope to be . I see glimpses of reality in my dreams and I begin to channelise my energies to convert these vicarious thrills to tangible results . My dreams always seem to have all the right solutions to the right problems .I see new directions , dimensions , perspectives to my problems . I discover new planes or faces of my own self .
I am a puzzle to myself , I make each day interesting by solving a bit of the cryptic puzzle which is me . I don’t believe in pretenses and ambiguity . I am content living without them . I have nothing to hide and I have nothing to be ashamed of . I am not afraid of anything getting stolen nor being deprived of anything nor am I afraid of anyone and will not wait a moment to speak my mnd out.
I am not perfect . I am very human . There are a few things I dislike about myself , I am stubborn , manipulative , and blunt at times which hurts the people I love the most . I am lazy and I know I am wasting away all my capabilities by procrastinating and wasting time and I have a concentration span of that of an ant . I am extremely impulsive and highly inflammable and consummate at convincing people that my way is the right way , even if it isn’t .
I am a strong believer of the fact that trust begets trust . I am an open book to one and all and I pride myself on the fact that I am not judgemental and accept human weakness as it is . I dislike being judged . I dislike my decisions getting influenced by others .
On the lighter side , I love reading and I am a dilettante. Rest Assured , no one will die of ennui with me around . I am loquacious and taciturn . I am a true ambivert . I thrive in company , yet crave solitude for introspection at the end of the day . I love emotions , I believe they make you or they break you . I love to observe people and their reactions to given situations . it gives me rare insights into the working of the intricate human mind which never ceases to amaze me .
Being the narcissist I am . I bet I could continue forever , but this is where I stop and say thank you for being a patient listener , though things seldom made sense and confused you . That is me , my friends . seldom understood and confused .
P.S. This was written as an assignment for a feminist literature course i took up in college..
Hope everyone likes it..
:) Kindly excuse the punctuation errors..
2 comments:
You expressed yourself so nicely. I'm envious.
very well put ! Loved how well expressed and to the point every description was !
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